I can't explain the feeling inside of me right now. It is a hunger. It is a thirst. It is a longing. It is what I have been praying for (for weeks now.) I was in a bit of...a slump. I felt as though I wanted to want Christ. I wanted to be in His word. I wanted to desire Him over all else. But when I sat down at the end of the day, my heart was not longing for Him. And then, after much prayer, I felt renewed. I don't know when it happened. I can't pinpoint the reason or the event. But I noticed it today when I was doing my quiet time. I couldn't get enough. And then as I was praying and thinking back on the day I felt a genuine joy. A love. An appreciation for my God and Savior.
Also, my extreme discomfort in the field of romance has passed. I am so happy with friendship. Searching for a boyfriend is tiring. Playing the part to win a guy- It is worthless. I am not by any means ready for marriage, so why waste time on pointless relationships right now. Why not spend time pouring into guys around me, loving them, growing with them? Why not do so selflessly without worry of how they will respond in return? There are some really great guys surrounding me right now. Guys who believe in seeking Christ first. Guys who respect women because women are daughters of Christ. A guy actually wrote about that in His blog (that I read today.) Just reading his thoughts about pursuing the good of the girl in a relationship over self-satisfying interests was so amazing to me. It gave me hope in guys again. It made me realize that I should do the same for my guy friends. I should do everything to protect our friendship and stay away from any misleading actions.
Finally, I love serving other people. I realized that I am the most happy when I am pouring into others. I love doing little things for people, things they may never thank me for, but things that can make all the difference in the world. I pray that God would open my eyes to these opportunities. I am often too busy focusing on myself to pick up on them. I just love to be used by God in the small things. I never wish to be the big name who receives the credit. I am perfectly happy on the sidelines. I thank God for putting me here.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
It's the weekend...
Ok...so it has been a few days...
First, and most importantly, church this morning was simply amazing. To sum it up I post these lyrics from Come Thou Fount. If you don't know this song you need to look it up. It is amazing.
Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace; streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise. Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love.
Here I raise mine Ebenezer; hither by thy help I'm come; and I hope, by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home. Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God; he, to rescue me from danger, interposed his precious blood.
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be! Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
I can't help but be humbled when I think of Christ. I have done nothing to deserve him. HE sought me, not the other way around. I catch my pride swelling when I do "good things." Praise God that he busts through this huge balloon of ego that I have and sends me back down to reality. And when I am not prideful in my walk, I am wandering and giving my heart to others. I just pray that last line. I am prone to wander and leave, but I just pray that God would take my heart and seal it for His purpose and His glory. I pray for a thirst for God. A soul that is not content with my current condition. A soul that is seeking with full force the things of the Lord. A soul that is constantly singing the songs of loudest praise that are tuned to the grace of my Savior.
Second on my mind...well not really on my mind...but part of my life. Last night Sarah and I went to the Estate and cooked dinner for the guys and it was SOOO FUN! We made Fajitas and this Peanut Butter/Ch
ocolate dessert thing. It looked a little something like those on the left. Yes they were amazing (if I do say so myself.)
Dinner was so good (I was a little proud) and we even got a round of applause from the guys. This adventure just made me even more excited to have my own house with my own kitchen. I absolutely love to cook. I like looking up really difficult dishes and seeing if I can make them all come together. I hope to be REALLY good one day and have kids that talk about my cooking the way Caitlin talks about her mom's cooking. Once I achieve that I will be a happy girl. :)
First, and most importantly, church this morning was simply amazing. To sum it up I post these lyrics from Come Thou Fount. If you don't know this song you need to look it up. It is amazing.
Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace; streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise. Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love.
Here I raise mine Ebenezer; hither by thy help I'm come; and I hope, by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home. Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God; he, to rescue me from danger, interposed his precious blood.
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be! Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
I can't help but be humbled when I think of Christ. I have done nothing to deserve him. HE sought me, not the other way around. I catch my pride swelling when I do "good things." Praise God that he busts through this huge balloon of ego that I have and sends me back down to reality. And when I am not prideful in my walk, I am wandering and giving my heart to others. I just pray that last line. I am prone to wander and leave, but I just pray that God would take my heart and seal it for His purpose and His glory. I pray for a thirst for God. A soul that is not content with my current condition. A soul that is seeking with full force the things of the Lord. A soul that is constantly singing the songs of loudest praise that are tuned to the grace of my Savior.
Second on my mind...well not really on my mind...but part of my life. Last night Sarah and I went to the Estate and cooked dinner for the guys and it was SOOO FUN! We made Fajitas and this Peanut Butter/Ch
ocolate dessert thing. It looked a little something like those on the left. Yes they were amazing (if I do say so myself.)Dinner was so good (I was a little proud) and we even got a round of applause from the guys. This adventure just made me even more excited to have my own house with my own kitchen. I absolutely love to cook. I like looking up really difficult dishes and seeing if I can make them all come together. I hope to be REALLY good one day and have kids that talk about my cooking the way Caitlin talks about her mom's cooking. Once I achieve that I will be a happy girl. :)
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