He said to them: " It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my wintesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. Acts 1:7-9
I must confess, I have had the worst attitude since my return from Uganda. I have been broken and I am eager to return to that place, to love those people, and to share the love of my savior with them. When someone asks me about how things are going, they will get a smile and a simple answer. When they ask me about Uganda, they will get hours of stories, talk of my heart, and discussion about a call on my life. So what is missing? What is the problem? The Lord calls us to go to the ends of the earth, it seems to line up, right?
I have done my people here such an injustice. I have come home and struggled with love for the people I have grown up with all of my life. I see excess, a community that needs more and more. I see wealth beyond compare and think about how that wealth could be used for those sweet children I held, those wounded mothers with nothing, those strong men doing everything to send their children to school. I begin to compare and, in turn, begin to hate. I grow restless in my own skin and cannot wait until the day when I can answer his call.
That is why the passage In Acts is so important, so relevant. Yes, God calls us to the ends of the earth. I pray that one day I may go and serve in such a manner. But God also calls us to be his witness in our Jerusalem, our home. I am here for at least a year. And I do LOVE my city. As I have settled back into Raleigh God has begun breaking my heart for what breaks his. He loves his people here and wants to see them come back to him. And if I am here for a year then that is my calling.
So may I run hard after him wherever I am, loving his people like he would love them. And, when I let myself get in the way as I did after Uganda, may he humble my heart and bring me back, showing me what true love is.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interest of others.