Sunday, October 26, 2008

An answer to prayer...

I hate being angry. It is funny, though, how the smallest things can change my mood from smiles to glares. I wish I knew what set it off, but I can't even figure myself out. Little things add up until I just explode, but not really. I just get very quiet. I don't talk to anyone. I crank the Frank. The signs of an angry Kayla are obvious. Then when I look back at exactly what added up the this anger I see myself as ridiculous. A car going slow. No parking space. Plans not working out exactly as expected. Waiting in line. All things that are no big deal, things that can easily teach one patience. Oh, and speaking of, here is a line from my prayer journal written on Friday morning.

"I see myself struggling with patience. Patience with those around me. Patience with life. Patience with You and the plan You have for my life. Lord, teach me this patience I long for."

And He answers, exactly one day later. But I can't see my circumstances as an answer to prayer, I see them as reason to get frustrated. I act like a two year old. I fail yet again. I am so thankful that I serve a God who is patient with me, a girl who is the ultimate source of frustration. A God who accepts the cries of a sinner. A God who sees me on my knees begging for forgiveness more times than can be counted, and a God who picks me up time and time again.

No comments: