Monday, February 22, 2010

A Stack of Letters

I just stuffed the envelopes that hold the letters that I will send to those friends and family members I know and love. You know... the envelopes asking them for money to send me to Uganda. Ohhhh yeah! Those envelopes. The ones I have been dreading to send. The ones I have been embarrassed to send. The ones my PRIDE has been keeping me from preparing. Oh yeah, those envelopes.

But a funny thing happened while I was stuffing them, writing the names, praying over each family and their willingness to give. I began to get so, so excited. I mean smile-spread-across-your-face-can't-hold-it-in-call-your-neighbor excited. God did it again. He changed me. He humbled me. All while I was licking an envelope.

You see, those envelopes are the first step in this trip that God has called me on. They are the first connection I have with Uganda. The first chance I have to actively trust in and rely on God. I have always been able to mouth "God, I trust you" while really placing my faith in my own hands, words, or actions. I have always had a backup plan, a savings account, some means of salvation other than the Father. I told Him I trusted Him, but I knew if He failed me, I always had my safety net. But right now, as I look at those envelopes, those are all I have. I don't have a backup plan. No savings account. I put my yes on the table not knowing how to get there, and this is where He led me, putting my pride on the line and asking people for help. And strangely enough, I am wildly excited about it. I have no say in what God will prompt people to give, if God will prompt people to give. I have no say in how long I will have to wait for an answer for my prayers for support. I have no say in if people will support. All I know is that I am trusting in Him to provide, and I have never felt such freedom.

So as I sit here and look at this stack of letters, I am so excited. I am bracing myself for what the Lord is going to do, because when God moves, whether in a flood or in a still, small voice, His movement revolutionizes and changes people. He is already moving in my life. Keep moving Lord. Keep changing me.

1 comment:

Danella said...


Once again I am shown how God works in our lives through u because i was seriously just thinking about u today and raising your support. It is so encouraging to know you are trusting God through this process. You have such a beautiful heart and I would be more than happy to support you through prayer and in any way that I can.

P.S. That whole God humbling us thing is hard isnt it?! It'll getcha. ;)

<3 u,